Dear Nell,It is with deep sadness that I’m sending you this email, to let you know that our good friend Ceejay passed away. The county Medical Examiner’s Office confirmed the cause of death last May 2007. An autopsy found that he died of blunt force head injuries while surfing. He may have hit his head on an underwater rock. His body was found ten minutes after he dropped in the water. This is such a sad news …

God bless, Dwayne

The news came in an email, from a common friend back in college. I was simply shocked in disbelief, that I had to read the message again. Is this some sort of prank? An email sent to me by mistake? But as I sat down in front of my computer screen, it occured to me it was real. I don’t think anyone would make up such a joke, a bad joke. And after a brief conversation with Dwayne, it was confirmed— Ceejay is gone!

Sadness filled my heart and my mind wandered into thin space. Is this the feeling they call grieving? I remember taking a necklace out of a drawer, something Ceejay gave me couple years back from one of his surfing trips. I still have it to this day, though a bit worn out from using it all these years. As I was holding it in my hand, I felt remorse and emptiness. I wish I had kept in touch with this friend; a phone conversation, a postcard or an email maybe. But it’s too late for he has departed. And all I can do is cry, reminisce and pray for his eternal peace and for a sign that he’s pleased on the other side of the bridge.

Farewell, my friend!



  1. munchkinmommy · October 6, 2007

    Oh, Nell. I’m so sorry to hear that you lost a friend. 😦 That’s very sad news. I’ll whisper a prayer for Ceejay.

  2. Meeya · October 6, 2007

    there are many things we wish we could have done, but sadly we will never be able to do. but i guess, you can continue to honor your friend by keeping alive his memory in your heart long after he’s gone.

    i hope you’re ok. *hugs*

  3. sardonicnell · October 6, 2007

    thanks for the prayer, weng. up to now, medyo di pa rin ako makapaniwala. ang weird ng feeling ko ngayon, but im confident things will be better. really appreciate the prayer, have a great week end 🙂

  4. sardonicnell · October 6, 2007

    thanks for the comforting words, meeya. i know that things will be better. just that i miss him and still cant get over this feeling of regret. sometimes, human emotions is a bit hard to understand. don’t you think? thanks for the hug, i feel much better 😉

  5. Pinky · October 6, 2007

    Losing someone dear to us is always a surreal experience – parang we are living out a very bad dream. 😦 So sad but a reality we all must face at some point in our lives… *sigh*

    Very, very sorry to hear about your loss. Don’t worry, there’s nowhere to go but up from here. Take care, Nell!

  6. cheh · October 6, 2007

    Ohhh Nell That’s very sad news indeed!Hugses to you! I hope you’re okies & get over your sadness in no time.Take care!

  7. sardonicnell · October 7, 2007

    thank you, pinky! eventually, don din ang punta natin. tama ka. the feeling of loss can be unbearable lang at times. i wonder what ceejay’s family has to go through, oh my! thanks again for the kind words. hope you’re having wonderful week end 🙂

  8. sardonicnell · October 7, 2007

    thank you, cheh! the big hugs felt great. im doing much better today, though sad pa rin. but eventually it will subside, i hope. God bless and thanks so much for the hugs 😉

  9. rollercoastermom · October 8, 2007

    hugs to you nell. at least you’re lucky to have memories of him to keep. 🙂 you are right in saying the feeling of loss can be unbearable at times but it gets better in time too.

  10. sardonicnell · October 8, 2007

    thank you, kris! really appreciate the hugs and the comforting words. im doing much better now, really. this will come to pass soon 😉

  11. Jen · October 11, 2007

    Hi Nell, it’s been a while since I’ve dropped by. I’m sorry to hear about your friend. I hope you’re well.

  12. sardonicnell · October 11, 2007

    hi jen. ok na po ako, medyo nag senti mode ako for a couple days. but i’ve bounced back! thanks for the kind comforting words 🙂

  13. apols · October 12, 2007

    nell im sorry to hear about ceejay 😦 siya din ba ung nag co comment sa ibang posts mo? was he the one who told your dad about your cousins utang ba un? huhuhuhuhu……….na shock naman ako sa news mo 😦

  14. sardonicnell · October 12, 2007

    hi apols, thanks for the comforting words. ceejay was a friend from college and lately eh di na kami nagkausap. ow, the one you’re pertaining to is cee cee, it’s not her; she’s alive and kicking. thanks so much for your concern. God bless 🙂

  15. Apols · October 14, 2007

    yikes im so sorry to cee cee! kasi ive been reading din your kwentos about ceejay and cee cee 😦

  16. sardonicnell · October 14, 2007

    ok lang yon, apols. no harm done here, parehas kasi silang may cee kaya confusing din 😉

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