I’m in the family room watching a Nicholas Sparks inspired movie. When I saw both Mom & Dad having coffee by the dining table: talking, laughing, getting along just fine. Not a hint of what was once a messy, all-out-war separation proceedings. Guess, this is what they weirdly call – happily divorced.
Dad is by sink washing the dishes, Mom was by the pantry looking for some Mang Tomas lechon sauce, my Sister by the stove glazing the ham, my Brothers and in-laws sitting in front of counter table sampling the food. And my nephews and niece in the family room doing the thing they do best – watching TV and video games.
Wow, the whole family’s here! And however sad I am trying to put myself together. How can I be unhappy? I am surrounded by love, and that is all the blessing I need!
Yes, the tides has changed once again. One day, Mom is feeling wonderfully well and then now, she’s not. Truly, our family’s battle with breast cancer has been one hell of a ride. Not to mention the anxiety and emotional torture. But however exhausted, we promise never to give up. There are things in life that I have no problem letting go, just not this one. It’s totally out of the question!
It’s Fathers Day today, and unfortunately Dad had to bail out on us. He happens to have a private date, and we understand. But I’d like to say a few words to my old wise man. He may not be the most eloquent father, but I love him just that way. So here’s a shout out for my Paps!
Dad, thank you. Thanks for giving me a chance to live, and giving me the space to grow in my own terms. Thanks for loving me unconditionally. You may not say the words, but I feel it every minute of my life. Thanks for being my man of strength, for defending me againts all harms. For being my man of truth, making me accept the person that I am. For being my man of wisdom, letting me know to embrace my own uniqueness. For it is what makes me – ME. And I may not say it often, but I do love you. It’s just that we have our own different ways of expressing it. Happy Fathers Day!
I knew the day would eventually come, but I didn’t expect it to be so soon. Well, the siblings I use to care for can pretty much fend for themselves now. Funny, how I thought this day would be one joyous occassion. When I could finally free myself and do the things I have put on hold. Travel the world, settle down maybe and take care of me.
Somehow, I feel useless. Maybe because I’ve spend most of my life caring and tending people I love. And now that they no longer need my help. Here am I standing on the sidewalk, clueless. Wondering what to do next, trying to find something to keep me occupied.
I guess, I need some getting to use time. Let this all sink in and get myself acclimated to my so called, new life. It won’t be easy, but I know I’ll snap out of it sometime. Change is good, I’ll tell myself that over and over again.
I’ll be fine, I will be…
This is it!
All my bags are packed and neatly stacked in the garage.
Have my passport and ticket in one hand.
I have never ever been this ready to go on a holiday.
The 7,107 islands of the Philippines awaits me.
And I can’t wait to see the wonder there is, in that beautiful city.
I am beyond excited, my happiness shows.
I am finally coming HOME!
PS: This would also be my entry for Litratong Pinoy #36, entitled EXCITED…