I shouldn’t have sent Leon that email. It should have ended with that thing, and all the endless questions in my head. But then again, I needed to know where I stand. What are we really?
An hour after sending my email, I heard an alert on my Blackberry phone – he has responded. And so I opened my inbox, red his message word for word. To my surprise and not knowing why, I got teary eyed. He said:
I screwed up, and I admit it. That’s why I never questioned you, the day you decided to leave me. It’s been tough, months of silence and living in guilt. Getting up the next day, and what for? But nothing. Yes, I am nothing without you, my love. What’s left of me was a box full of nothing. A body without a soul, an artist who has lost it’s muse. And everyday (not having you with me) is a constant reminder of my mistakes, of my despicable behaviour. A realization that life without you by my side , is a death sentence.
Yes, you are strong and I am the weak one. You are capable of moving on, and I can’t (and I won’t.) No would mean the end of me. You’ve won, you’ve made your point. Now could we leave these all behind us and please come back, love. I beg of you!
Guess the question now is — am I ready? Could I fall for the same guy the third time…