Odd Guy, Out!

I had a horrible-fun night. It did start out nice at first, invited friends over for dinner and then I lost it. I did, and it was horrifying envisioning myself and remembering the things I said. And truth be told, I am not proud of what I said. But I also have no regrets, I had to do it. I had to get the message thru.

It started out as a week end picnic plan, but turned out my friends already had there stuff for that day. So we all decided to have it Thursday night. I made a pasta dish; my friends brought some dishes and a couple bottles of wine. People came on time and we were enjoying dinner, when a friend made a comment about my clothes. Saying that it’s inappropriate and “so unfashionista”, but I ignored him. But what can I say, I am in my own home. Is there really a need to dress up, right? And then, he made another comment about my place, saying that my decor was “all over the place.” Again, I kept my mouth shut. Although, my friends were starting to give me a look. The kind where they’re silently begging me not to say anything. Again, I ignored it. And then, they all decided to have a smoke in the garage. When my friend saw my old Honda Civic, and said – Oh my gosh, you’re still driving this car? Who drives this car nowadays? This is like the 90’s!

I exhaled and eventually, exploded – FYI, that car isn’t the 90’s. That is a 2000 Civic! And how dare you embarrass me in my own home. You are one self absorbed demeaning freak! I suggest you get your jacket from the closet and leave my undesigner house. And stay the f*ck away from my unfashionista life, will you? And would you please get out of here right away, before I loss my cool and ran you over with my car. Get out, now!

Long story short, my ex-friend left. And soon as my front door closed, the four of us remaining started laughing. Seems like everyone’s uncomfortable around him. And what’s great, is that the night ended well. Not to mention fun, after all the unpleasantries that happened.



No Way, But The Highway

I decided to finally answer the phone. I thought a week of silence is enough torture for him. It was immature, but what can I do? This is how I handle things. I guess he was suprised when I finally said hello. He even asked, is this Nell? I laughed and he finally found out he had the right person all along. Hahaha!

Surprisingly, the conversation was mellow. No one dared to raise our voice, we were finally talking like adults should. He asked me questions, and I answered. I asked mine, and I begged him to tell me the truth. Which he eventually did.

In closing, I thanked him for his honesty. I knew it was too much for him, yet he did. And I appreciate him more, for owning up his lies and mistakes. Both of us have our own set of misbehaviour, if you know what I mean.

Things may not have turned out like we expected. But we handled things well, I think. And it feels good to close one chapter without ripping any pages. What we had was a dream turned nightmare. We thought it was a good idea to rekindle the flame. But that flame, eventually burned both of us. We made the rules, and broke it many times. It was too good to be true! With our past haunting us to this day, it was impossible to make things work. We tried, and we failed. And from that, we picked up the pieces. We gave each other a hug and we moved on!

It was a mutual thing, we both needed to heal. And come to think of it, going our separate ways was the best decision we have made…

City Streets

A Passing Thought

I have always thought that when a guy falls for another guy. Both parties would be called gay lovers or a couple engaged in a gay relationship. Either that or the other guy is a hustler, call boy or a paid escort. But then, what do we call straight guys fooling around with gay men? Non stop flirting, constant eye contacts and inappropriate touchy conversations. I’m guessing, confused!

Gay Manga aka Yaoi