We were driving down I-880 when Mom suddenly said – If you really love, Leon. Why did you let him go? I looked towards Mom’s direction and smiled. I said to her – It was love itself, Mom! She looked at me, took my right hand and squeezed it. She understood why…
Truth be told, I decided to call it quits with Leon againsts his will. It was only a week or two after seeing each other when I told him, I’m out. Unfortunately, he was still in a committed relationship. And needless to say, I refuse to settle as second best. He did say that he’ll end his affair with the other guy, but I said no. It was unfair and uncoath to do such a thing and use me as an excuse. I told myself not to meddle with his life, it was his baggage not mine. But as heaven is my witness, I do love him to this very day. But the timing was all wrong, the events were not in my favor and maybe our time too, has past.
Through the years, you can say that I have matured quite tremendously. And if this has happened to me before, I would probably have no problem snatching someone elses man, all in the name of love. But then, my priorities has changed and I, as well. I have learned to let go of things and let it grow on it’s own. Learned when to fight and when to recede. I try to pick my battles and Leon wasn’t one of them. I have my reasons, and it wasn’t easy for me to deny him. Fact is, love is never selfish. I could have stayed with him, but that would mean losing my self respect and my values. Besides, how can I find peace and happiness when I know I’ve caused someone huge despair.
There’s never a day that I don’t think of Leon. He was the love of my life, my happiness. But he had some growing up to do, and situtations to face on his own. And love wasn’t a question. It was about trust all along, and I couldn’t find it in him just yet.