Old Friends

There’s hearts filled with laughter
and eyes moved to tears
with memories so vivid
transcending the years
the words of compassion
and actions so kind
the sun smiles down, when
old friends come to mind.

I’ve counted my blessings
and shuffled my dreams
and sang to the music
of deep forest streams
searching for places
the light always shined
like deep in my soul, when
old friends come to mind.

I count you among
all the guides on the path
who loved me and taught me
to dream and to laugh
when I reach my heaven
I know that I’ll find
this heaven was built
by old friends, I call mine.

Gone Fishing


Talking To My Man

I haven’t been feeling well since the other day. It started with muscle pain, then fever, followed by sinus infection and sore throat. It must be the weather, or some sort of bug I caught from the outside world. However, today was much better. I was able to eat more than just soup and crackers. Still have a little bit of muscle pain, fever’s gone, but still has runny nose and throat discomfort.

Then came this afternoon, when my old man came over. Checked to see how I was doing and invited me to go target shooting with him at this indoor range. I really didn’t feel like it at first, but I figured out that I needed to get out of the house. Maybe some fresh air would do me good.

So here we are driving down to South San Francisco, when Dad suddenly interrupt our silence. “You seem very quiet today, something wrong with your tongue? Did you bit on it?” Dad asked. Maybe I was too focused on driving, or wasn’t feeling like my jolly, talkative self. “I’m sorry, Dad. You want us to talk about something?” I said to him.

“Not really, just not use to your silence” Dad said, without even looking at me. “Well, maybe you can tell me about your masters. You doing okay with your class?” He asked. “Everything’s cool, I’m good and you got my email concerning my grades last semester, right?” I said in reply. And then he nodded to confirm that he got my message.

Five minutes has passed and then he said, “Yup, that was impressive! I’m sure your Lola, your aunts and cousins would be thrilled to hear the good news.” I was confuse what Dad was trying to say, and so I asked him. “What was that, Paps?” And then he looked towards my direction and said, “I mean your grades, they’re really good. Better than your cousin Anthony, who’s taking his masters at UC Davis.” And then it hit me, I am being compared, yet again. I have to admit, Dad’s statement ruined my mood, it pissed me off!

I didn’t have the guts to answer back that very minute. I realized that this is my father I’m talking to, I had to be careful what I say. Plus, I didn’t want to be disrespectful or end up being called an ingrate. So while I was shooting my Glock 38 and hitting the target, I was also trying to compose a speech inside my head. And though I was a bit distracted, I was able to finish eight rounds and beat Dad at his game. I was twenty three points ahead of him. Not bad, right?

But then came the drive home, when I’m supposed to confront him. I was shit scared and about to pee in my pants, when he said. “Something wrong, Son?” I looked at my man and said, “Ahmm, it’s about…” I was horrified, stuttering and couldn’t finished my sentence. “Say it!” Dad said in an authoritative voice. Then, I realized this would be my chance to make a stand and share my opinion. So I stopped the car on a curb and finally said it.

“Paps, I respect you and all. But this bragging ritual of yours with auntie and uncle has to stop! It’s annoying and at the same time, insulting. It puts me and my innocent cousins in very bad and odd situations. Not to mention putting our friendship and familiarity on the line. What do we get from this? Absolutely nothing, right? And if we truly are family down to the core. Do we really need to compete against each other and see who’s on top and who’s second rate? I don’t think so. Besides, family’s supposed to stick together!”

And when I was finally done. Dad said, “Are you finished?” I looked at him and answered, “I am and I’m sorry if I’ve upset you!”  He then put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Whoever said I was upset? All I wanted to say was, cut the bullsh*t and go straight to the point. You know me, I don’t do dramas!” And then he ordered me to start the car and drive to the nearest Popeye’s Fried Chicken.



The List

He wanted to know all the things that made me cry. He wanted a list, so that he would know. And so perhaps avoid doing things that would make me sad. I thought at first, was it some kind of joke. But he wasn’t joking. He handed me a pen and paper. Said, I better start writing.

My Reporters Notebook

Sleeping Over

It’s past midnight, and I’m seating here in bed with my laptop on. Watching my lover as he’s sound asleep. Gosh, I miss this! This feeling, this kind of happiness. Calling someone my partner, sharing some quiet time, catching up on stories. As I portray a domestic role and cook gourmet meals for two. And then we’ll lie down in bed, tickle each other, read a book, wrap in each others arms as we doze to sleep. I love this, I love every moment of it!


Bumping Into Love

If I were to bump into my true love

Would I even know he was the one?

Would his eyes sparkle in a different way

Could his smile light up the sun?

As fast as Leonardo came into my life.  It was as brisk, when he was taken away from me. No words were said, only a letter that came months after he was deported back to South America. Life was devastating, I thought love was cruel. I spent each day dreaming I was close to him. That any given minute, he’ll be walking thru the door, calling for me, yelling the words amor. But of course, that didn’t happen. I cried, till there were no more tears. I hold that letter close to my heart, like a piece of priceless jewel. I longed for his touch, his smile, his warm body and his love. But not even his ghost came to me. And so I drown myself in agony and disdain, for it’s the only way I knew how to deal with my grief. It took me a year to get back on knees. Put myself back together and finally, move on.

Then came Saturday, a family affair in Sacramento. I was having lunch, when I accidentally dropped a glass of sangria on the floor. A waiter came, said I was sorry and out came another server carrying another glass of wine. He handed me my drink, and I said thank you. And then I saw him staring at me as he was walking away, and I stared back at him. This man’s face looks familiar. I have seen him before, a man from my horrid past. And then it hit me, it was him. It’s my Leonardo!

Suddenly, I felt a gush of emotion. A mixed of passion, sentiments and haunting pain. I got up, excused myself and rush to the rest room. Afraid that I may cause a scene amidst the presence of my family. And while I was standing in front of the mirror, wiping my tears away. I realized I wasn’t alone in the room, somebody came in from the back. It was him, standing behind me. I was already in tears and he was about to cry. I looked down on the sink, when he grabbed my hand, pulled my body towards him and then hugged me real tight. And then he kissed me, madly and passionately.

Five minutes after, the dream’s finally over. But wait, why’s he still in front of me? He is real, after all and not just a ghost or a thing of my imagination. And so, I grabbed his hand. Got out of the rest room and led him to the table where my family was waiting. They all looked at me, wondering what I was doing holding the waiters hand. And then I said to them — Guys, this is Leonardo. My boyfriend…

To The Rescue

I couldn’t hide it from her… If I was bold enough to acknowledge my depression and announce it to the world. She certainly has every right to know and hear what I have to say. At 1 AM, I got my cellphone and called her. Surprisingly, she was still up discussing something with my stepdad. And she knew what was happening right away. She even got upset, the fact that she was last to know. But she eventually calmed down and out came her motherly instinct. I did sensed agitation in her voice, and so I assured her that I’ll be alright. Said she’ll see me in the morning.

To my surprise, I woke up at around 9 AM to see my mother crawling into bed with me. Gave me a kiss on the forehead and wrapped her arms around me. Suddenly, the thirty year old moron transformed itself into a child. Secure in his mothers sweet embrace. It was an ecstatic feeling, something I wish to experience over and over again. Just having my mother beside me made all the difference. I felt safe and free from all the negativities that besets me. Two hours of nuzzling, and I feel refreshed. Mom has filled my deprived soul and gave me the boost I needed. She came to my rescue,  yet again.