I’ve hurt someone I love today, and I feel horrible. I know I did the right thing, yet I am feeling at fault. But I needed to draw the line somewhere, I cannot help him forever. I cannot be there each time he falls, or bail him out when he gets into trouble.
I didn’t know love can be so exhausting. Yes, I am tired, so tired of broken promises and hearing all sorts of excuses.
I am bleeding inside, for I know he felt betrayed. But this is not an act of abandonment, nor an issue about trust. I am simply doing him a favor. For if I don’t cut him out now, he would surely drag me and our family with him. Draining us of every inch of dignity and self respect we have left.
There is no doubt, I love him. But I do not like the man he has become — selfish, abusive, greedy, brassy and impolite. He has turned into a monster, capable of tormenting anyone, including the family who relentlessly cared for him.
The abuse and exploitation has to stop, and unfortunately for me, it ends here. I simply don’t buy it no more. There is nothing he can say that would change the way I feel. What I need now is a commitment for change. And until he realizes what he did wrong and seek professional help. I do not want him, not in my life or in this life time. He can bring his bullshit elsewhere, to someone he can deceive.
There is love and concern, but I am out of compassion. And yes, it’s a harsh reality he has to face. But I cannot continue putting my life on the pedestal or live in days filled with fear and uncertainties. I demand change, or I may as well lose him forever.