Some Things Never Change

Tiya Amelia, my Dad’s sister, invited us over at my father’s house to have some Kare-kare (hers made the old fashion way). But then she said something that made me more inquisitive,  she claims we have an intruder in the house. I’m not kidding, but that was how Tiya Amelia said it to me. She didn’t go into detail since Dad was walking around and said to just see it for myself.

Half hour later we made it to my Dad’s house and true enough, there was an unexpected guest. I paid my respects to my elders, said a quick hello to the guest and then walked to the kitchen to help Tiya Amelia in setting the table. Five minutes after, my two other siblings were with us in the small kitchen. I guess, they too, are curious. Now according to our investigator, este our aunt. Dad has been dating this woman lately. What? We said in chorus. I could not believe that my father has turned into a lunatic. How can he have an affair with a woman that is as old as my sister? Okay fine, my sister’s 23 and she’s probably older by a couple years. But the sight of them together is giving me the creeps.

I was able to keep my sarcastic remarks to myself while having dinner. But I can’t help but throw some questions while having dinner. So looks like you and my father are exclusively dating, am I right? I said. And before she can even answer, my sister asked a follow up question. And how old are you, Miss? she said. Dad gave us the look, but she was kind enough to answer our questions. I’m sorry, I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself. My name is Leila and yes, your father and I are seeing each other for the past two three weeks. Oh and I’m 27! she answered. Heavens have mercy, I can’t believe my Dad’s falling for her. A sixty something year old man dating a twenty seven year old chick. There’s something wrong with this equation. Like my sister said, this is screaming Dee-Oww-Mmm all over!

I excused myself after dinner and told Dad that I had something else to do at home. My siblings did the same thing, and I think my father had a gut feeling why we were leaving so soon. And as we were heading out, Dad asked to speak with us in private inside our car.

Dad: Don’t you think you guys are being unfair?

Nell: What do you mean?

Dad: I know what’s going thru your heads. You think I’m going crazy!

Sis: No Dad, you’re not. I think you’re getting desperate.

Nell: Epee, don’t say that! You do not talk to Dad in that tone. Apologize, now! (slightly raising my voice)

Sis: Sorry Dad, but…

Nell: Watch you language, I need not repeat myself.

Sis: Whatever you have with this woman is totally bizarre, Dad. I mean, can’t you date a woman close to your age? Why her? Why a 27 year old? C’mon Dad, you’re better than this. You don’t want to called a sugar daddy or a dirty old man.

Nell: You’re a descent man, Dad. But only heaven knows of her intentions, and hopefully she has some good ones to begin with. We are all aware you’re an adult, so we trust that you can make wise decisions. Right, Pops?

Sis: Kuya, don’t condone Dad’s behaviour!

Nell: I am not condoning Dad in any way. He’s our father and he knows better! And I don’t really think Dad would like the tag, dirty old man.

Sis: I am not hearing this. That woman is a freaking gold digger, and you’re not doing anything to stop it.

Nell: Like I said, I am not in favor of this either. Who would want a 27 year old for a step mother?

Dad: I’ve heard what you have to say and for the record, I am not marrying her. So you guys can calm down. I’t’s just a date, that’s all!

Sis: So she’s just your flavor of the month? (she calmed down a little bit)

Dad: Don’t be using that word on me, young lady. It’s a date, that’s it! I haven’t exactly found a woman comparable to your mother. And if you’re thinking I’m giving her money, the answer is no. And if she’s in for the money, sorry but she’s not getting it. Are you forgetting I’m an intelligence officer in the military, so you guys know how critical and suspicious I can be of people.

After that five minute conversation, everybody eventually calmed down. And Dad asked that we do not share this story with mother, and he made us promise that. Dad also asked that we stay a bit longer, and we did eventually went back inside the house. It’s funny cause my sister and I looked at each other giggling when Dad said, she has yet to meet a woman comparable to Mom. Guess that means, father has never stopped loving mother all these years. Which reminded me of my parents wedding song (by Perry Como), it goes: 

When your hair has turned to silver,
I will love you just the same,
I will only call you sweetheart,
That will always be your name .

Through a garden filled with roses,
Down the sunset trail we’ll stray,
When your hair has turned to silver,
I will love you as today.

Endless Love… Giggles, giggle, giggles.

Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow



  1. iris · February 11, 2008

    aww nell, i may not know the history behind your story, but i know how heart warming that is, to know how your dad is still the same old guy who loves your mom. well it hasn’t happened to me, but with the way things are going these days (with so many couples breaking up, and i am so disillusioned already i tell you), it’s just nice to know 🙂

    hello iris, sa totoo lang eh kinikilig kaming magkapatid. my dad’s really not vocal about his relationship with mom, pero ngayon eh lumalabas na he’s still in love with her all along. but the sad truth is, mom have moved on and dad is nothing but just a friend and father of her children. i really dont think there’s any chance of reconciliation. mom is one of those people who would not look back at her ugly past, but would rather move forward and leave history behind. sayang na sayang, if only dad behaved himself. hahahah! but nonetheless, as children we are happy of what our parents have become. they’re very good friend! totoo nga ang kasabihan, nasa huli ang pagsisisi. and my dear, don’t let go of love. whatever people say, the feeling of being loved is still one of the greatest feeling there is in life. dba 😉

  2. iris · February 11, 2008

    well at least, they’re still good friends diba? i really wouldn’t know how to feel if that happened to my family. im thankful we’re very intact. it’s just a worry for me when it comes to mia though. well, you’re right, letting go of the ideals of loving should be the last thing i do. 🙂

    ow iris, kong alam mo lang ang kwento ng aking mga parents. makulay at mala-soap opera ang dating. hahahah! but kidding aside, masaya na rin kaming magkakapatid na they’re friends. know what’s funny, cause that ring above was dad’s gift to mom couple christmases ago, and hiwalay na sila non hah. buti na nga lang at di seloso and step dad, kong di eh gulo. dba? and ganyan si dad taon taon, she gives mom presents as if mag asawa pa sila till now. like i said, some things talaga wont change.

    and ikaw dear, do not think too much. nakakapraning yan! basta look at the bright side, you guys are happy together. ok na yon! at kong may problems man kayo, i’m sure maoovercome nyo rin yan. ang marriage talaga eh love and hate relationship yan, period 😉

  3. pusa · February 11, 2008

    awww soo kilig din ako, hopefully they’ll end up together again 😀

    hello there pretty kitty, thanks for visiting. nakakatuwa ano, kasi kong kelan nagkaka-edad na eh tsaka nag sentimyento. hahahah! ang love talaga eh matalinhaga 😀

  4. reyna elena · February 11, 2008

    all those years hah? that was nice though, kung azan wala na den saka mo mare-realize that you miss sum’tin, not sure kung yan ang feeling ni dad mo but nakakakiliti naman! 🙂

    hello reynz, trulyly talaga ang kasabihan. you realize someones value pag wala na sila sa tabi mo. dba? how i wish dad behaved himself, cause if he did eh they’ll probably be together to this day. but then again, God is still good. instead of hating each other, they became friends. ok na rin yon, dba 😉

  5. tulipfleurs · February 11, 2008

    Hello Nelli . . . first of all, thanks for the text wishing me well and for a little chat on the phone this afternoon. I am hoping to shake off this nasty flu bug soon! 😉 Anyhoo, our good friend is in that situation; but with her, the husband left her (luckily all the kids are adults) after 25+ years for a 27 year old. What is it with a 27 year old? The “gurlfriend” is the same age as one of their daughters. It makes you go “ewwww!” But, what can we do? I hate to say this but hopefully your dad will realize this so-called relationship he is in. I hope this “chicka” isn’t a gold digger. I don’t normally judge people, but I’m just saying it as so. Let’s just hope that your dad will find someone that he will be able to share his life with. Just don’t be too hard on him . . . hate to say this, but “sometimes it’s a man thing.” Maybe your dad is out to “prove” something and he’ll get over it. Well, take care, and call me if you need to chat . . .take care too! 😉

    hello lulu, was really happy to hear your voice on the phone. and hopefully you get rid of this flu bug soon, try the whiskey remedy. it might help 😉 and also, thanks so much for helping me calm my nerves down earlier. i just needed to get it out of my system. naku po, sensya na sa abala hah. i sincerely appreciate your kind gesture and this budding friendship of ours. naks naman!

    speaking of DOM’s este mga older guys na naghahanap ng bagets. i really hope this is just a phase, there’s something creepy about it talaga. probably cause my sister and that lady’s almost the same age. totally odd, dba? but then again dad is an adult and capable of making the right decisions for himself. and seems like it’s also a man thing, but look at what it caused him — losing the one he really loves. we really need to be careful of our actions, cause like in my mom’s case. she didn’t feel like being the submissive wife to a womanizing husband, she chose freedom instead. and search for that prince charming who would give her the love and respect she deserves. not everyone is born a saint, like mom use to say. dba 😉

  6. Leap of Faith! · February 11, 2008

    Nell, sana di maloko si Daddy. Anyway, it is nice to know that he still has feelings for your mom (even if too late na for it).

    hello keith, that is what i’m praying for as well. if we’re mean in anyway eh that’s all out of love and concern. now that dad openly admitted he has feelings for mom, eh medyo kinilig kami ni sister. hahahah 😀

  7. thess · February 12, 2008

    wait, nalito ako! d ba may gf si tito? hmm this one is 27 years old? ang galing ni tito ha! cgro para lang may makasama sya sa mga lakaran , ganuon ba…saka hamo na Nell, nakakapagpa healthy daw ng pakiramdam ang may kasamang nakakabata, tutal smart talaga dad mo di ba?

    basta eventually like nuong nasabi mo sa akin before, mom and dad mo pa rin in the end …

    hay naku sister, ganyan din tatay ko nuon, seaman pa! pero ngayon, e di madir ko pa rin love nya at kasama til the end.

    hello sister thess. speaking of dad’s gf, yong nakwento ko sayo — gone with the wind na loka! i don’t know the exact story, pero yong girl na ang umayaw eventually. alam mo na! sa totoo lang eh mukhang lapitin etong tatay ko ng mga bagets, galante kasi. pero he has to know his limits at kong kelan niloloko na sya. pero sabi ko nga, yakang yaka na nya yan! eenter lang ako sa eksena pag kelangan may manabunot sa girlash, hahahah! siguro nga din feeling ni dad eh bumabata sya pag may kasama syang teenager, este younger chika babes pala.

    kami ring magkakapatid eh gusto naming magkabalikan sila in the end, pero parang nag move on na talaga si mom. malay natin magbago din yon, but then i’d feel bad for my step dad. dba? magulo etong mga buhay na pinasok ng aking mga parents, hahahah! i’m so glad to hear your mom and dad are together, sana ganyan din ending ng love story ng aking mga magulang 😉

  8. munchkinmommy · February 12, 2008

    hi nelli! bago ako magcomment sa post, sasabihin ko lang muna na nagseselos ako kay thess at lulu dahil sila kinakausap mo sa phone! hahaha! lambing lang. hahaha! 🙂

    i find it a little funny that your dad made you promise not to tell your mom pero here were are, your blogger friends and readers, reading about all the juicy stuff. 😉 kaya si hubby ko, sinasabihan ako minsa, “o, huwag mo na i-blog yan ha!”. hahaha!

    hmm, meron din namang mga successful na may-december romances, diba? sa bagay, ako din naman siguro, medyo mahihirapan i-accept should my Mom fall for someone younger than I am! 🙂 psst, gusto mo ipag-blind date ang mommy ko at ang dad mo? joke! naku, papatayin ako ng nanay ko! joke lang. hahaha!

    maybe you should all just give the girl the benefit of the doubt and your dad, your 100% trust. 😉 they’re both consenting adults anyway, diba? 😀

    hello weng, wag ka ng magtampo. tawagan kita one of these days, pero syempre email mo sa akin ang phone number mo para chikahan at halakhakan tayo. and speaking of juicy stuff, papatayin talaga ako ng tatay ko pag nabasa nya eto. hahahah! kidding aside, dad wouldn’t mind as long as walang kalakip na picture sa post, hahaha! funny how you said that about your hubs, cause that’s how my ex was before. medyo restrictive, pero ok lang din yon at least may konting secret. hahahah!

    speaking of may-december love affairs, meron ngang mailan ilang na successful naman. but then in dad’s case it would unfair, cause his heart belongs to someone else. dba? maglolokohan lang sila! instinct na yata nating mga anak to be protective of our parents, cause we dont want them getting hurt. as for this blind date, call ako dyan! where and when, at go go kami. syempre chaperone tayo, dba 😉

  9. pinky · February 12, 2008

    Such a profound post, Nell! If I were in your place, I’m not so sure if I would’ve handled the situation as gracefully as you did… I have a tendency kasi of remembering past hurts (especially if they are of the “deep” kind) even though I already have forgiven. You are definitely a gem of a person and I truly pray that someone out there realizes what a treasure he has lost. Take care!

    hello pinky, thanks so much for your kind compliment. touch naman ang bakla, heheheh. ano bang graceful don eh may i walk out nga ako after dinner. sa totohanan lang eh i had reservations about this may december affair. but somehow i need to give dad the trust, that he knows what he’s doing. tsaka na realize ko rin eh, that if dad was able to accept me and queerness. then i should be able to give him that, too. dba? sana nga eh magbago si dad at baka sakaling pakinggan sya ni Lord na magkabalikan sila ni mader 😀

  10. joy · February 12, 2008

    Hi Nell! Have you recovered from the shock yet? 🙂 It’s probably good for your dad’s ego that he’s met this woman. Just support him and bear in mind what the most important thing is – his happiness. Alam mo naman, sometimes the harder we push people, the easier it is for them to go the other way. Mahirap na, at baka dumiretso sa Las Vegas at ikasal sila ni Elvis.

    Perhaps your parents’ roads will re-converge at some point. But for now, he has you and your other siblings to love him. Suportahan mo na lang kung saan siya masaya 🙂

    A Pinay In England
    Your Love Coach
    The Goddess In You
    Norwich Daily Photo

    hello joy, i have recovered from the shock. but dad surely did surprised us with that unexpected guest. i guess natural reaction lang yong ma-shock kami, kasi naman ang bata yong girlash. but we’ve already expressed our concern with dad, and that should be enough said. he should know what he’s doing, but heaven forbid wag naman sanang sya ang maging new step mom namin. totally awkward, promise 😀

  11. bw · February 12, 2008

    Your dad is a mac hehe 🙂 Kidding aside, it would be nice for him and your mom to reconcile for sure but if doesn’t happen, your dad certainly deserves his own happiness – don’t you think? He needs some stress and loneliness relief so he can live longer 🙂

    hello bw, i firmly believe that dad is entitled to his own happiness. as it’s been years since mom has moved on. pero susme, wag naman sa bente syete anyos! i’m also praying that mom and dad would eventually reconcile. if not now, then maybe down the road. they’re so complicated, and yet funny 😉

  12. Meeya · February 12, 2008

    ay ang lupet ni daddy dear! hehehe. pero sa totoo lang, ako rin siguro magiging tulad ng sis mo ang expression ko pag nalaman kong may ka-affair ang dad ko na younger girl. anyway, sa case naman ng dad mo, he’s divorced na so he can pretty much do whatever he wants. if he’s happy sa situation niya, then hahayaan ko na lang. pero he really has to make sure na hindi lang katawan niya ang habol ni 27yo girl, hehehe.


    hello meeya, mukha ngang katawan ang habol nong girl. bwahaha! pero kidding aside, i just thought at first that the girl is not in for the relationship; but for something else. but i trust dad that he knows what he’s doing. wag lang sanang pakasalan, at ibang usapan yon. heheheh! ***big warm hugs to you, too *** :mrgreen:

  13. thess · February 12, 2008

    Weng, naku wag ka na selos at panahon pa ni lapu-lapu last phone conversation namin ni Nellya!

    Naisip ko din yan eh, hush hush sabi ni dad mo….naghahanap pa ng kasabwat ano? ha ha ha…now sino ang mas mataas ang ranking kung parehong nasa military sina tito at tita? *lol!*

    btw Nell, kundi lang matapang nanay ko at nag promised kay vader na mawawala 3rd leg nya pag nahuli ni mader, ayun kaya tumino! …o di ba, mas mataas din kasi ranggo ng nanay ko sa tatay ko, mas matapang din ha ha ha!

    (darling may tag ako sa yo ha wink* )

    hello sis thess, atapang pala si mader hah! at takot lang ni pader na maputol ang ikatlong tungkod nya. hahahah! in fairness naman sa nanay at tatay eh, he mas matapang si mader. si pader naman eh mahilig, pero di papahalatang pabling. i guess napagod na ang nanay ko, at ngayong wala na eh hinahanap ni pader si kumander. hahahah! btw, i saw that tag and will gladly do the meme. love yah lots, mwaaah 😀

  14. ann · February 12, 2008

    Baka main love sya dun sa girl eh makalimutan nyang isa syang intelligence officer sa military…hehehe! Lam mo naman when it comes to love marami ang nakakalimot o ayaw na talagang mag-isip. Wag naman sana!

    concern ko rin yan, ann. dahil kahit ako eh minsan ring natanga sa pag ibig. hahahah! now that you mentioned this eh baka gwardyahan na namin di dad, hehehe. wag lang sana na lokohin ng girlash na eto ang tatay ko, dahil kong nagkataon bubunutin ka lahat ng buhok nya sa katawan, hahaha 😉

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