Can’t Fight Love

Mom and I haven’t said a word to each other for almost two weeks now. I just thought she needed some space after our small argument. I certainly needed mine, while she made plenty of attempts to patch up our differences. She’s made numerous phone calls and sent me emails, I red and heard them all. But I wasn’t ready to talk, I wanted to clear my head.

I do understand that Mom was going through some tough times lately with my cousin’s health situation and all. And she has every reason to be upset and moody. And Mom was not alone in this sadness, the whole family did go through some emotional roller coaster. It was hard for me getting up each morning not caring, while there are people who’s only wish is to have one more day.  A day to see the sun shine and watch as the moon beams over one more starry night. It’s been truly difficult!

But what sparked our argument, was her accusations over my lack of tears. To a certain extent, I was even addressed as one heartless bit-h! Wow, it felt like a knife stabbed me straight to the heart. Was Mom joking when she said that? Does she really mean every word? Just because I didn’t shed a tear right in her midst, all of a sudden I turned into this one bad person. Of course, I didn’t say anything. I just stood quietly in one corner of the living room, I then grab my car keys and left. I bit my tongue out of respect for my mother.

But looks like Mom came to her senses days after. She realized that she did hurt my feelings. And of all people, she should know that I was grieving inside and feeling my cousin’s pain. The accusations were lies to begin with. Maybe, Mom was having one of those panic attacks and it so happen that I’m the only one in sight at that moment; and had no other choice but to endure her wrath and frustrations. I really didn’t know what was going thru her head. But whatever it was that happened, I know in my heart that Mom didn’t mean harm. However, it’s not fair to blurt it out on others. ( I myself am guilty of these, sometimes. )

Anyhow, I decided to pick up the phone this morning. Luckily, I didn’t get transferred to her voicemail. I was able to talk to Mom and we decided to make our peace. Of course, there were tears and she was panting on the phone. That I had to console her for a little while. But she sounded very sorry and as a son, who am I not to forgive? Right. I guess we really can’t fight love, tough love that is!

Mother & I

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12 comments

  1. tulipfleurs · December 3, 2007

    Hello Nell: Gosh! You’re mom is so “hip!” Wish that when my kids get to your age, I’ll be a “hip” mama too! 😀 Seriously, I’m glad you and your mom were able to somehow make amends. I know it’s difficult especially when both parties are stubborn 😉 Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way about not being able to forgive. I didn’t talk to my cousin for nearly two years although he made several attempts to say “hi” to me at gatherings, etc. . . but being stubborn as a mule . . . ni ignore ko lang siya. Well, my cousin died and it was one of the worse feelings ever because I never got to tell him that I “too” was sorry and that despite our differences, I never stopped caring and loving him. We say things that hurt other people but when we do it’s because we had said them at that “moment” out of “anger” without really thinking before speaking. OK, I’m getting a bit melodramatic here. Nasaan yoon tissue? 😉 Again, I’m glad you were able to work things out with your mom. I had the same problems with my own mom! But regardless, she’ll always be your “mom,” no matter how they can drive you insane. Cherish every moment with your mom too! My nanay died two years ago and how I miss her so . . . even those silly arguments we’ve had! 🙂

    P.S. I don’t hold any more grudges. Mabait na ako! 😉

  2. sardonicnell · December 3, 2007

    thank you, lulu! now that you said mom was hip, mas lalong lalaki ang ulo non, hehehe. and im sure, you’ll age graciously as well — hip mama ka rin kaya noh!

    what happened to me and mom was a little misunderstanding lang naman. kikiboin ko rin naman sya regardless and even if she didn’t say sorry eh magpapansinan din kami non. medyo pinalipas lang namin ang sama ng loob. i’m quite known for being sarcastic and not taking crap from anyone. pero pagdating sa nanay ko, medyo tikom ang bibig ko. i have the utmost regard for her and i wouldn’t dare disrespect her in any way. medyo natagalan lang kami nag usap kasi we got busy, but now that were okay eh back to regular programming na kami. as a matter of fact, she’s now at my house decorating my home. ganito talaga yata kami, love-hate-love relationship. sabi nga nga dad ko, “mag-ina nga kayo!” hahahaha.

    i’m so sorry to hear about your mom and cousin. i’m confident that they’re watching over you and your family from heavens above. and don’t be too hard on yourself, tao lang tayo at nagkakamali rin. i’m sure your cousin can see thru your heart and find peace that you have accepted his apology. and your mom, she sure is proud of you for keeping a wonderful family and raising your children well.

    thanks for the kind words, lulu. i sincerely apprecriate your comment. God bless and have a wonderful week ahead :mrgreen:

  3. eric aka senor enrique · December 3, 2007

    Glad to know that all’s fine between you and your mom.

  4. sardonicnell · December 3, 2007

    thanks eric, it was just one of those “tampo” kinda stuff. i cannot envision myself, not having a good relationship with my mom. besides mom and i are inseparable, we’re both stubborn lang paminsan minsan. hahahha 😀

  5. rollercoastermom · December 3, 2007

    like everyone, i’m really glad that all is well between you and your mom. you know naman in the heat of the moment, marami talagang nasasabi na we don’t really mean. 😛 what’s important is that you’ve managed to patch things up already. here’s to years and years more of inseparability! teehee! 😀

  6. sardonicnell · December 3, 2007

    hello kris! ganyan naman yata sa pamilya, away-bait dba? medyo nagulat lang siguro ako, kasi first time akong sabihan ni mom ng ganon. but we’re cool now and kinalimutan na namin ang mga pangit na ngyari, as a matter of fact eh we’re chit-chatting again like we use to. golly! namiss kong chikahan namin, hahahaha. 😀

  7. Leap of Faith! · December 3, 2007

    Nell, I’m also glad that all is well now. I agree with Lulu, your mom is so hip. You must be really proud of her.

  8. Pinky · December 4, 2007

    All’s well that ends well! 🙂 Ganyan naman talaga, with those we hold nearest and dearest, we oftentimes let our guards down and regretfully say things that we didn’t really mean at all… Buti na lang, for you guys, you both were brave enough to settle your issues and differences head on. Iba talaga ang bonding ng mag-ina… I’m sure it will take a lot more to wreck a relationship as strong as yours. God bless!

  9. bw · December 4, 2007

    Hey, your mom looks hip bro 🙂 You know what it is – we’re behaving like a spoiled child sometimes. Kung baga pusong mamon minsan but glad to know that you’ve patched up with mom. Ganyang lang naman ang family – we have disagreements but never hatred 🙂

  10. sardonicnell · December 4, 2007

    KEITH: mom? hip? now you’re really going to make her head swell. let’s just say she knows how to take care of herself, ever since naman she’s very neat and fit. moreso, after battling breast cancer. thanks for your kind compliment and i’m please that mom and i are back in track;)

    PINKY:
    it’s just that mom and i have the same personality, we’re both alpha females (kaloka noh?). medyo dominant ang personalities namin, add to that being stubborn. kaya mag-ina talaga kami, hahahah! sa pamilya eh normal na talaga ang away-bati, and same goes to mom and myself. but besides the away-away minsan, we still love each other dearly 😀

    BW: stubborn talaga kaming mag-ina, promise! and minsan nga eh pati si mom eh nag-iisip bata rin, heheheh. and you’re right, NEVER HATRED! we love each other so darn much that there isn’t any space for that. thanks for the kind compliment, lalaki na naman ang ulo ni mom nito. hahahaha :mrgreen:

  11. Meeya · December 4, 2007

    hi nell, ok lang ang magkaroon ng LQ with the people we love, kasama yan lahat sa lambingan, hehe. what’s important is we are able to settle everything well afterwards. mahirap yung pinatatagal ang away, alam mo naman life is so precious so every minute that we can show our loved ones how much they mean to us matters. 🙂

    ok, pwede na ulit kayong mag-mega shopping ni mommy, hehe. *muah*

  12. sardonicnell · December 4, 2007

    hi meeya! what’s good about LQ (or should is say MQ) is the kiss-n-make-up, dba? alam mo bang nag may i cry a river ang drama ni mother, kaya naantig ang aking pusong mamon. besides, i never harbour hatred in my heart for family. normal na talaga ang di pagkakaunawaan, dba? speaking of shopping, sinimulan na naman kagabi, hahahah :mrgreen:

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