Lola Knows Best

I finally turned my phone on yesterday, and surprisingly I had 22 missed calls and 7 voice messages. I must have missed out on life a lot while I was in my shell. And so I listened to my messages and got four calls and two voicemail from my grandmother in Valencia.

First Message: Kamusta ka na, Apo? Bakit di mo sinasagot ang tawag ko. Sabi ng Papa mo eh wala ka raw sa bahay mo? Saan ka ba? May dinaramdam ka ba, Iho? Tawagan mo ako pag natanggap mo eto, nag aalala ako sayo.

Second Message: Anak, dalawang araw na ang lumipas. Bakit di ka pa natawag sa akin? Magtatampo na ang lola sayo nyan. Sige na anak, kausapin mo ako. Dito lang ang lola para sa iyo!

I wonder how she knew that I was going through some tough times. I never told anyone, not even my Mom or my sister. Must be my grandmothers intuition, as she sure is one empathic lady. And so I decided to call her after listening to her messages. She was very happy to finally hear my voice.

Mama Lola: Lintek kang bata ka, pinag-alala mo ako. Nasaan ka ba? Saan ka nagpunta? Mi ultimo Papa mo eh di alam kong saan ka.

Nell: Ay Lola! Nagmunimuni lang po ako. Nagpunta lang po ako sa bahay ng Mama, at nagpahinga ng konti.

Mama Lola: Alam kong may dinaramdam ka, wag kang magsisinungaling sa akin.

Nell: Naku mama, wag nating pag-usapan. Basta okay na po ako at tsaka bale wala eto.

Mama Lola: Anong bale wala! Nawala ka ng ilang araw ng walang nakakaalam. Tapos sasabihin mong bale wala. Sinong niloko mo?

Nell: Depresyon lang po eto, lilipas din eto!

Mama Lola: Apo, wag mo nila-lang ang depresyon. Maraming nagpapatiwakal dahil dyan. At kong ano man ang dinaramdam ko eh daanin mo sa dasal. Pakatandaan mo na marami kaming nagmamahal sayo. Eka nga nila, ikaw ang wind beneath our wings. (We were both laughing out loud) At wag mong hayaan na ika’y malungkot. Kailangan kang magpakatatag, kailangan ka namin.

Nell: Kailangan, para saan naman?

Mama Lola: Alam mo Apo, sa inyong magkakapatid ikaw ang tinitingala ng dalawa. Maaring sa iyo sila humuhugot ng lakas ng loob. At saan nalang pupulutin ang mga kapatid mo kong wala ka?

Nell: Naman Mama, wala naman akong balak mag suicide noh!

Mama Lola: Di naman yon ang ibig kong sabihin. Pakaisipin mo lang na maraming nagmamahal at humihingi ng gabay sayo, lalo na yong dalawa mong kapatid. Aminin na natin na ikaw lang ang pinakikinggan ng mga yon. Ikaw rin ang nagsilbing tulay sa mga  nakakabata mong kapatid at sa Mama at Papa mo. Dba?

With that said, I think I value myself more. There are times that I question the reason for my existence, and I think my grandmother is right — I do have a purpose. That is to take care of my precious family and bridged the gap between my younger siblings and our parents. It’s a good thing I called my Mama Lola. She gave me back my confidence and made me realize that I am significant. That I am indeed someone’s wind beneath their wings. Hahahaha!

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11 comments

  1. Meeya · November 7, 2007

    youre lucky to have such a sweet, wise, and intuitive lola. 🙂 there’s nothing that puts us right back on track than knowing that we have a purpose no? i hope tuloy tuloy na ito. di ako sanay na hindi malandi ang posts mo hehe. *muah*

  2. sardonicnell · November 7, 2007

    hi meeya, promise na tuloy tuloy na eto. i’m even back na at the ofc, so that means matinotino na ang pag iisip ko. hahahah! really blessed to have such a sweet lola who never fails to express her love even from across the distant seas.

    sorry kong medyo melodramatic pa rin ako, but i promise to make it up by sharing some of my other landicious moments with ted. love yah lots, mwaaah 😀

  3. Rino · November 7, 2007

    hi nell, sorry i only got to check your blog recently after getting back. i’m glad the worse is over but i’m knocking my head for not being there when it happened. i really, really enjoyed my trip there to see you and i hope my follow up pa ulit in july or in bangkok with mayne and jon next year.

    ingats always and God bless!

  4. sardonicnell · November 7, 2007

    hello friendship, pls dont burden yourself with my personal dilemna. it’s not your fault, talagang bigla lang akong tinamaan ng depression. but the good news is, i’m doing much better and on my way to being my old self.

    thanks for visiting me here in sfo, i truly enjoyed every minute of our lamyerda. including that instance that we got lost looking for that darn geary and 34th street. hahahah! i look forward to our trip in bangkok and your next trip here this coming july. hopefully, mayne and jon can join us as well. that will be a blast, don’t you think? thanks again friend and pls keep in touch. God bless and take care always :mrgreen:

  5. K · November 8, 2007

    When I am depressed, parang I think nag iisa ako sa mundo, walang kakampi – we ignore phonecalls (or turn it), the blinds down, frozen and go on with life. Di natin alam, ang taong nakaka-alala parati ay walang iba kundi yung tunay na mga nag mamahal sa atin. Yikes, ang korni pero totoo.

    Kung meron akong number mo baka mag alala din ako, kaso KAYA mo. Pero, in case gusto mong mag suicide, siguraduhin mong sa 50th floor ka para hindi halatang nahulog ka lang. JOKES.

    ey, na try mo yung bagong THEME?

  6. sardonicnell · November 8, 2007

    hello k, that’s exactly what i feel when im depressed. sounds corny, pero totoo naman. hehehe! but thank heavens for those people who truly loves us, it makes it easier for us to get back to our normal self. dba?

    ow golly, suicided has never dawned on me. di naman ako bipolar and i know how to handle myself my depression. so no 50th floor for me or whatsoever. hahahaha!

    yah, i saw the new theme. the blue and black one, pero wala yatang header option kaya i chosed this. thanks for your comment and God bless 😀

  7. munchkinmommy · November 8, 2007

    i miss my nanay tuloy, God bless her soul (maternal grandma)! ganyan yata talaga ang mga lola, malakas ang radar. you’re blessed to have your mama lola. kita mo, from spain pa ang tawag! 😀

  8. sardonicnell · November 8, 2007

    hello weng! sorry to hear about your nanay. but where ever she is, i’m sure she’ll smile right back at you. my MAMA LOLA is a guardian angel. she’s been my guiding light all along and if not for her knocking my head. i probably won’t snap out of my shell. she’s truly a blessing, my infinite source of wisdom. i love her more and more each day 😉

  9. thess · November 8, 2007

    Ang lupit ng radar ni lola! ha ha ha! Walang lusot ano? How old is she?

    Naku, ikaw naman ay talagang may purpose sa balat ng lupa. May rason bakit ka inilagak ng Panginoon sa mundong ito. Gaya nga ng sabi ng lola mo, ikaw ang hangin sa ilalim ng kilikili ng mga kapatid mo. Pag nawala ka, lalamigin sila.

    *mais mais* ang kornik ko naman talaga he he

    incidentally I was singing this song earlier while I was preparing dinner. thinking of the time when i was still singing in the band cos this was one favorite song of mine.

    well, i’m hitting the sack now..bagsak na mala kabuting talukap ng malalaking mata ko he he…lab you sister…tc!

  10. sardonicnell · November 8, 2007

    totoo sister thess, talas nga ng radar ni mama lola! di nakalagpas sa pagpapatrol nya ang depression ko. matinik, dba?

    now that lola called me wind beneath my wings eh bigla ko ng love ang song na yan ni bette midler. sabayan mo nga ako sister sa pagkanta, hehehe!

    love yah lots and sweet dreams :mrgreen:

  11. jam · December 18, 2008

    pag depressed acu..
    i usually do, nagsusulat acu sa diary cu
    or any kind of things na pwede cung sulatan at labasan ng problema..
    lola and even my mami knows every littke things bout me..,
    ul timo pag di lang maganda pakiramdam ko, khit di ka magsabi sa kanila
    alm na nila agad ung nararmdaman mu..
    hayss..
    sarap ng gnun no?..
    kakamiss..
    la kc mami cu d2 sa abroad..

    pero astig ang lola mu ha..

    tc.

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