By the time we got to the beach house, Ted was complaining that his left arm was hurting. I felt bad for acting like moron, but then he didn’t want to let go of my hand. It’s not like I am going anywhere. Feeling guilty, I went to the kitchen to grab some an ice bag for Ted. I didn’t realized his arm was badly swollen cause of my kiddish quirk.
I handed the ice pack to him and he gave this smile. Funny how he’s the only person I know who finds humor in injury. Couple minutes after, he got up and went out to get something from his car. He brought out shopping bags filled with all sorts of food. And while he was out, I went back to the kitchen to set the table for dinner. Ted bought some prep meals from Boston Market which we both silently shared.
After our meal, I went to the back porch for some fresh air. I was about to light a cigarette when Ted grabbed it from hand and threw it away. I was going to say something, but I realized he was right; I shouldn’t be smoking. He then went behind my back, gave me a big hug and kissed me on my head. Needless to say, I melted in his arms. Suddenly the feeling of melancholy was gone, though temporary.
The night was getting colder and we went back inside the house. Ted lighted the fireplace and I went back to kitchen to grab some wine glasses and a bottle of merlot. I knew the night won’t go by, without revealing myself to Ted. I’m hoping that the wine would help me calm my nerves.
Ted: Hon, what’s going on here? What’s happening to you?
Nell: If I tell you, do you promise to listen.
Ted: Of course, I will.
Nell: I have this depressive disorder for quite a while now, and this is a one of it’s manifestation. I also have seasonal affective disorder and dysthymia.
Ted: Since when?
Nell: I’ve had this for close to three years now and barely anyone knew, except for my family and a couple friends. That’s why they’re giving me my space, they know I work better this way.
Ted: I see, do you want me to leave?
Nell: No, don’t, please! Just stay for now. In as much as I’d want to deny it, I feel much better that you’re here. Not unless you want to leave, I’d understand.
Ted: Now come here, you crying baby! You thought I’d leave just because you have this disorder. No way! At least give me some more credit, I’m way better than you think I am.
Ted grabbed me from my seat and gave me the most heartfelt hug ever, and I ended crying a river while I’m wrap in his arms. I admit, it is better that he’s here. He made it much easier for me to conquer my demons. I must have under estimated him. But you can’t blame me for having my doubts, as it’s only been weeks since we started going out. And I thought it was too early to trust him. But I guess time does not exactly justify true love.
Ted: Hon, I don’t care if you have depression or some other disorder. All of us have flaws, and that includes me. But you need to understand that if we are to be a couple, we need to be honest with each other. You know I love you just the same, right?
Nell: I do and I love you, too. Thanks so much for keeping an open mind.
Ted: Okay now! Enough of this and let’s go to bed. I promise you, tomorrow would be much better.
And so we hop into bed and snuggled together till the next morning. And when I woke up, I stared at Ted while he was still asleep. He snoozed like a baby, with no trace of uncertainties in his face. Then I realized how good I’ve had it all along. How I let my depression conquered my happy spirit. Thus making me forgot to count my many blessings.
And one of that greatest blessings was just right beside me —Boy, was I lucky to have these wonderful man in my life!