I woke up about 4 AM Saturday to get myself ready for a cat show down in Fresno. It’s a good three hour drive from my place, and the show starts early at about 8:30 AM. So way before the rooster crowed cock-a-doodle-doo, I was already on the road burning gas on the freeway.
Hours after as I was passing through Turlock; I saw the sunrise on the horizon. The timing was perfect as I had just finished crying. Listening to bossa nova made me all emotional, and could not stop the tears from falling. The music made me miss my friend Ceejay. Forgive the tears, but this was the only time I could cry ; where not a single witness to see me at my weakest. I was also able to let all my frustrations out, internalize and then eventually clear my mind.
And after a good cry, I dried my tears and smiled. I do miss my friend and it would take some time before I get use to not having him around. But I can’t be sorry forever and I need to stop blaming myself for the times we’ve missed. In my heart and in the depth of my soul, we will remain friends. And knowing him, he wouldn’t want to see me this way. He’ll probably give me a hug and say — move along, my friend!