The Week End of X’es

Just as I was finishing my recollection of this ex-boyfriend from hell. My home phone rang, area code 860. Who could this be? I don’t usually answer my residential line, as it’s dedicated to darn telemarketers and my online addiction. Then I remember a friend with that same number, I was thinking it was Sandy who’s an old friend from college. So I picked up the phone. Bad idea!

It was Scott, another ex-boyfriend. What is going on here? Is this week end about “ex’es” and reliving old wounds? I haven’t had a descent conversation with Scott since June. All I know was that he move to Connecticut to follow his heart. Ouch! Yes, you heard it. His heart wasn’t mine to begin with. Geee! I wonder what now? It’s been months of no news. Plus, I didn’t make it my business knowing what happens after about my ex-boyfriends. I consider that a recipe right there, for hopeless romantics. Though I remember him leaving this letter on my doorstep, that I ended throwing in the shredder machine after reading. I found no need keeping it in my pile of photographs and memories. Hahaha!

Yes, Scott. What do you need?  I said.

Nothing, just wanted to see how you’re doing?  He said.

I answered the phone, right? So I must be alive. I’m too old for this, Scott. Please spare me the BS! Don’t tell you’re calling me just to know how I am, you can get that info from our friends. There’s really no need calling me and wasting  time! Please, please, don’t ruin my week end. I said in reply.

Seriously! Please calm down? God, you’re always in attack mode! He said.

In fairness to him, he’s really trying hard to have a conversation. I guess, it’s my emotional defenses kicking into gear. To protect me from falling and getting myself into any trouble. I’d be lying to myself if I say that I’m over him, cause I’m not. He’s been my significant other for seven years, it’s not easy to just turn my back and pretend I’m fine. I can’t just put on a happy face. It’s not me! Easier said than done.

But throughout these past couple months as I kept my silence about my personal life. I’ve learned a valuable lesson: Holding anger is a poison. I’ve hated Scott for leaving me and anger ate me from the inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred have a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves. (I’m quoting this from Mitch Albom’s book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven)

Now that he called, I’m wondering why he’s decided to open our line of communication? Why now? What’s his intention? Is this a trick? Am I falling for another one of his traps? Wholly macaroni, what did I get myself into?

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12 comments

  1. thess · September 10, 2007

    I agree that hate is such a strong word. That all it does to someone who nurtures it in his heart only will end up bitter, unhappy and eventually, alone. Now that’s sad.

    Kudos to you for seeing past through the hate stage.
    O e di ngayon, hahabol habol ang mga exes *Lmao*

  2. sardonicnell · September 10, 2007

    you are so right, sis thess! ngayon eh sila etong hahabol habol, hahaha. but i dont know yet if im ready to trust after being betrayed. i just have to take my time and trust that inner voice, i guess.

    ow sis, you made my week end fab! thanks for making me laugh so hard. love yah, mwaaah!

  3. Apols · September 10, 2007

    Hahaha. Nice.

    I love Five people you meet in heaven.

    I suggest you come up with book Five exes you meet in hell. LOLS.
    😉

  4. sardonicnell · September 10, 2007

    hahaha, what a great idea apols!

    i think i need to find the next three (3) boyfriends from hell to write this book. sino kaya etong susunod na tatlo? hehehe =)

  5. thess · September 10, 2007

    huh, ano daw sabi ko sa taas? “for seeing past through the hate stage.”

    whapaaak! buti naiintindihan mo akesh *lol*

    I also enjoyed our chismisan, it was unbelievable finding my twin online ha ha ha!

    enjoy your day and hello to tita! 😉

  6. Meeya · September 10, 2007

    crazy crazy week indeed! i’ll email you *wink*.

  7. sardonicnell · September 11, 2007

    hahah, hayaan mo sis thess. get na gets ko naman ang ibig mong sabihin, hehehe =)

    our chismisan was the highlight of my week end, sobrang saya! hayaan mo sis, ulitin natin. ako naman tawag sayo sa sunod. okidok! tita mommy sends her warmest regards to you po pala. i told her earlier about our long chika sa phone kasi, hehehe. she’s very happy i found a friend and sis in you.

    ingat lagi and God bless =)

  8. sardonicnell · September 11, 2007

    ow meeya, crazy and freaky ang week end ko. i just hope no more ‘ex’ calls me. otherwise, im going to scream na talaga! hehehe =) thanks for dropping by dear.

  9. munchkinmommy · September 11, 2007

    hay, i know of people who have been consumed by hate and just wouldn’t let go. they will never be happy. poor things.

    oooh, more juicy juice! hee hee! natutuwa ako sa mga pics that accompany your entries. 😀

    balitaan mo kami pag me lumitaw pang iba ha. haha! chismosa! 😛

  10. sardonicnell · September 11, 2007

    i agree with you, weng. some people couldn’t let go, but lucky are those who sees the light. dba?

    juicing juicy ba mga chicka ko? marami pa akong ganyan. hayaan mo at mag juicy kwento pa ako soon. hahaha!

    like i told meeya, pag may nagparamdam pang ex-bf. im gonna scream na talaga! nakakaloka kasi sila eh, nauubos ang hair ko sa kanila =)

  11. cee cee · September 12, 2007

    basta ako, hate ko pa rin ex ko! it’s still fresh eh.

  12. sardonicnell · September 12, 2007

    cee cee, your ex’es are a whole different breed. that i can assure you! hehehe. pero dear, it’s about time na to stop hating. you can’t move on if you don’t that kasi. hopefully, in time your wounds will heal. love yah =)

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