Long After They’re Gone

What happens after the baby birds have left there nest?

That’s the same exact question that came into mind as I was driving up to Oregon. It was a long eight hour drive and I had so much time to kill. So I had every opportunity to think — from past, present and then future.

It’s been years since my siblings came and moved in with me. I used to live in a one bedroom unit by myself. But after my parents divorce, my sibling came in one after another. We’ve come a long way, from an apartment in ghettoville to a house in a humble suburbs of San Francisco. You see, I’ve lived most of my life with them. And somehow I’m saddened that we’re slowly slipping away. I really hate this feeling of selfishness! But behind my denial, I know that day would come. Where they would eventually grow up, spread their wings and live away from the nest to seek new experiences.

Do I sound like a worried parent or what? I’d be honest, I do feel that way! Little by little, I feel that we’re growing apart and it won’t be long till they tell me, goodbye. And somehow, I need to condition myself to accept the natural course of life. That no matter how much I want to hold on to them, I cannot resists what is inherent. And that the only thing I can hold on, are the memories — fond memories of our childhood!

The next question is, what do I do long after they’re gone?

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8 comments

  1. cee cee · September 4, 2007

    this is what im afraid of when you go on trips on your own. you have lots of time to get into senti mode. friend, dont you worry hah. we are always here for you in sickness and in health. till death do us part. promise! that’s a girl scout swear. i love you, always.

  2. sardonicnell · September 4, 2007

    shut up, cee cee! di naman senti mode, sobra naman eto. just asking myself questions that i eventually have to find answers. we all know that our siblings would grow up and have their own lives. and then what after? but to be honest, when that time comes; i’d be very happy. cause they’re finally ready to live on their own. dba? love yah, too =)

  3. thess · September 4, 2007

    After they’re long gone…you’ll be fine! You will miss them but you’ll find plenty of things to keep you occupied. Perhaps you’ll take a photography class, travel, put up your own business, cross-stich (ay! mali..napasingit he he) eto maganda..travel to Europe to visit sister Thess…

    odivah?! napakaraming pwede’ng gawin at mangyari!
    But this is sure and that’ll never change…your LOVE for them – which matters the most 😉

  4. sardonicnell · September 4, 2007

    i love yah, sister thess! you are right, i will be fine. as a matter of fact i did cross stitching for a while. hehehe. i think photography and travel would be on top of my list, given that i have the money for it. but for sure, i’ll pay you a visit someday!

    thanks so much for the encouragment =)

  5. munchkinmommy · September 4, 2007

    this is a question that i will also ask myself someday. 😀 one answer is: hope and pray that you raised the baby birds well that they will thrive and succeed on their own. 😉 naku, ang daling sabihin! hee hee.

    seriously, someday, we’ll have to “observe” from a distance and let them grow on their own and just keep the nests open for when they want to be cuddled and be reassured that everything will be fine. 🙂

    and then, we can go on our cruises, world tours, shopping sprees, spa treatments, etc.! 😉 (yeah right!)

  6. sardonicnell · September 4, 2007

    thanks for the visit, weng! now that you mentioned it, i dont think we can ever desert our babies (if i can call my damulag siblings that). there just comes a time that we need to let them be who they are and decide for themselves. like you said ‘observe from a distance’.

    i look forward to cruises, world tours, shopping and spa treatments. heheheh =)

  7. Meeya · September 8, 2007

    i want to give you a hug!! ako in denial pa sa ganyang mga questions, considering i still have 30 years to go before i let my daughter go off on her own, hehehe!

    seriously, after all the years you’ve cared for your siblings, you deserve to give time for yourself naman. oregon is a start. 🙂 besides, hindi naman yan permanent na goodbye, i’m sure kahit malayo ka dadayuhin pa rin nila ang tinola mo 🙂 hugsssss!!!

  8. sardonicnell · September 8, 2007

    thanks, meeya. i was in denial din nong una, pero pag nan dyan na. kelangan na talagang tanggapin.

    i just have to look at the brighter side of this turn of events, i get to have more time for myself. and yes, oregon would be a good start! malapit lang naman din naman, mga 8 hrs drive lang sya.

    thanks for the hugs, i sincerely appreciate your kind gesture. big bear hugs to you, too =)

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