As if my life is not shitty enough, I got myself into yet another hell-moment. Huge dispute with Scott about “ex’es” and his uncontrollable online gambling. Just a concerned citizen, that is all. [And if love is a crime, please shoot me!] I’m deeply bothered about his credit card bills, it’s totally outrageous! I confronted him about his finances (due to the nature of my job, I guess) and he shut me out, telling me to “F— OFF!” Then turn the conversation around, putting me in the hot seat. We then argued over our past relationships; then he criticized my “innocent” family. He made me really mad, I felt like a kettle over a hot stove. The next thing I know — I slapped him twice on the face. Grab my bag and ran out of his house.
God knows I didn’t mean to hurt him, but what can I do now? I’ve never laid my hand on him, this was the first; it must have hurt him down to his heart. I wanted to apologize, but somethings holding me back. Probably my ego, the domineering side of me.
Is it really this hard to say, I’m sorry!