Furiosity

I am seriously mad right now! It felt like the world has conspired, to pissed the hell out of me. I am somehow ready to believe that 99% of the population is evil and down right selfish and rotten, and the remaining 1%, a bunch of virgins and martyrs who haven’t been laid or couldn’t get a  freaking date!

Forgive me for being smutty. But I should have expressed my anger when I had the chance, guess I was afraid of the damage it could inflict. Rather, I locked myself inside the rest room, covered my mouth with a towel and yelled as loud as I can. It was a pathetic way of  releasing my frustration, and cowardly that is. And now that I’m writing this, I feel like a schmuck. I should have bitten that bad guys head off while at work, so I wouldn’t feel like remorsing moron. A huge sigh…

Too Busy To Blog

I could not my beleive my eyes when I saw my last blog update, July 19th. I said, what? What the hell just happened? Did somebody just pushed the fast forward button? Wow, that’s a lot of time! And how exactly busy was I, that I was unable to make not even a short blog entry.

Truth is, it’s been hectic! If only I could stretch the day to get an extra hour, I would. And I’m sure you guys have been wondering what I’ve been doing with my life this past couple months. I could pretty much sum it in three words – work, school and no play. Oh wait, that was five. Hahaha!

Work. There’s been some changes in the office lately. I decided to cut down on my work hours to accomodate school. And yet, I  got promoted. No fancy titles, but I got raise. Not bad, right? We all know that with a promotion comes more responsibility. Four employees were put under my supervision, and most of my time was spent doing training. This would be one of those times when I would say – small is better! Less stress, but more time to effectively mentor people. Not a bad trade, if you don’t mind me saying. And so, with four people under my care. I was able to successfully train great employees. They’re one of the best working team, I have ever came up with. They’re so good, that they can pretty much snag my job. Hahahah!

School.  You red it right, I am a working student. I am back to school earning my second degree, B.S.  Nursing. I don’t know what I got myself into, except that the people around me are saying that I’ll do a great job as a nurse. I guess, we’ll find that out soon. And if things goes well, I graduate next year and probably resume my graduate studies. Golly, I hope I get a life after all these academic stuff I am and will be doing!

No play. Pretty obvious, I have no life – except for work and school. Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out, right? Hopefully, all the sacrifices I’m doing at the moment would eventually pay off. It’s bad enough that I don’t have a social life cause of the stuff I’m into. So the future better have some surprises enstore for me. Hahaha!

The Wisdom There Is In Life

I was at doctors office waiting for my name to be called for an appointment, when I saw a book on a side table that caught my attention. I opened it, started reading and made a huge discovery about myself…

That I should accept my own foolishness in my character. To accept that it was not my destiny to be the sort of person I would have liked to be. To try and see the people as themselves. To appreciate the distinctions between one shade of gray and the other. To beleive that if you like people, it is probable that they will like you. To trust people, partly because it is too much bother to go around full of distrust. To accept that being let down is among the normal course of life and that we only harm ourselves by being bitter. To beleive in our own experience, and dare to do what we beleive is our destiny. To rely on the experience of other people, but not on the wisdom of others, because it is useless. To live our own experience, because it is unique. That life is not a rehearsal, either we watch life passing right in front of us or try to experiece it fully. And finally, to rejoice, be happy and stop moaning!

Odd Guy, Out!

I had a horrible-fun night. It did start out nice at first, invited friends over for dinner and then I lost it. I did, and it was horrifying envisioning myself and remembering the things I said. And truth be told, I am not proud of what I said. But I also have no regrets, I had to do it. I had to get the message thru.

It started out as a week end picnic plan, but turned out my friends already had there stuff for that day. So we all decided to have it Thursday night. I made a pasta dish; my friends brought some dishes and a couple bottles of wine. People came on time and we were enjoying dinner, when a friend made a comment about my clothes. Saying that it’s inappropriate and “so unfashionista”, but I ignored him. But what can I say, I am in my own home. Is there really a need to dress up, right? And then, he made another comment about my place, saying that my decor was “all over the place.” Again, I kept my mouth shut. Although, my friends were starting to give me a look. The kind where they’re silently begging me not to say anything. Again, I ignored it. And then, they all decided to have a smoke in the garage. When my friend saw my old Honda Civic, and said – Oh my gosh, you’re still driving this car? Who drives this car nowadays? This is like the 90’s!

I exhaled and eventually, exploded – FYI, that car isn’t the 90’s. That is a 2000 Civic! And how dare you embarrass me in my own home. You are one self absorbed demeaning freak! I suggest you get your jacket from the closet and leave my undesigner house. And stay the f*ck away from my unfashionista life, will you? And would you please get out of here right away, before I loss my cool and ran you over with my car. Get out, now!

Long story short, my ex-friend left. And soon as my front door closed, the four of us remaining started laughing. Seems like everyone’s uncomfortable around him. And what’s great, is that the night ended well. Not to mention fun, after all the unpleasantries that happened.

I Heart My Imperfections

My brown skin,
The scar on my left cheek,
Eyes the color of the earth,
In a body, no one wants,
Except me, and only me.

When Sorry’s Not Enough

At first, when she said it – I felt so small inside. But then, looking back at what I have done for this person. I think, I deserve better. I was good to her, always been. I really thought, I could rely on her to catch me when I fall. But, I guess not! She was simply waiting for a chance to take every inch of pride I have inside. Try and break my spirit, and my will to trust.

But what really drives me insane, is that I was ready to take a bullet for this person and I still do. Even if she has hurt me, tremendously…

Going Bananas

I do not know what our office was thinking when they accepted these auditors-in-training. I mean, it’s okay to have them around. But definitely not under my custody! It’s bad enough that I had to do payroll, cause the clerk was out on vacation. And then, here’s two people following me around like dogs. Waiting for me to throw a ball on them. I am not so much of a trainer, specially when I’m trying to do a two-man job. Forgive me for complaining, I’m just way too overwhelmed at this time.

And then today, I asked them to do a profit/loss report on our Southern California branch. Took them almost the whole day to do it. And then later found out, three entries were incorrect. I know they’re fresh out of junior college, but not being able to do the basics – that is unacceptable. I have asked for them to do the simplest tasks, and they still got it wrong. They’re even justifying there mistakes as typo. Oh, that pissed me off! And would you believe the two were scratching there heads, when I mentioned the words auditing risks and misappropriations of assets.

I am appalled and I simply rest my case on these two…

Stuck Up

I’ve been called so many names, both good and bad. But this is the first time I’ve been addressed as a stuck up. And don’t you guys worry, I ain’t gonna cry about it. I’m actually laughing it all out. Simply because I know who I really am, and that I am not easily threatened by people calling me names. Besides, I’ve heard worst. Hahaha!

It started with a request or should I say an emotional blackmail. I was asked to child sit, yet again next week end. But then, I’ve already made plans for the coming Saturday. It’s our last week end before we fly to Manila for our holiday vacation. And I think I have every right to do my last minute errands. So, I was quick to tell them no. Told them of my plans for that day and said that Sunday would be better for me. I was so willing to compromise, even for a later time. But what  I got in return were unpleasant remarks, that I’m selfish and disagreeable.

Well quite obviously, I answered back and defended myself from such accusations. Most people would know, that I’m not one to withdraw in any fight. So if it’s verbal brawling they want, then that’s what they’ll get. It was a good five minutes of argument, until the word stuck up was said. And I blurt out a sarcastic laugh. I feel like yelling, WTF!

I hate to say this, but looks like I’m arguing with a dumb dumb. What does the word stuck up had to do with any of these? I would understand if they’d say that I am self centered, lazy or materialistic. But to call me a stuck up? He must have been high on meth, for him to say something stupid like that. Last I checked in the urban dictionary, the word stuck up pertains to a person who thinks they’re better than everyone else, except within their clique of friends.

And, do I think of myself any better than others? Well, the answer is hell no! How could I even think that, when I’m down right poor and unemployed. And besides, I don’t have a clique of friends who I share my stuck up moments with. I think I deserve better, and I don’t have time on my plate to mingle with airheads. And less I forget, our conversation started as a request, asking me a favor to watch over his kids. Now, it’s all starting to sound like an order or some sort of decree. Like it’s imperative that I follow. Well, screw him! Guess he forgot that I don’t take orders well.

The conversation ended when he decided to hang up and heard me call him a dick fart looney bastard. Serves him well, right? When I should have said more. And that money he was ranting about (or blackmailing me with), that he called a gift. Well, he can shoove it up his obnoxious a-hole, cause I have no use for it. I don’t want it, period.

Funny how people mistreat others just because they can’t have it there way. You do them a favor once, and suddenly your the official child sitter. People can be so darn abusive sometimes. You give them a hand, and yet they grab you by the arm. Now, who did they call selfish an disagreeable again? Hmmm, I simply rest my case…

Bad Trip

Asakusa, Akihabara, Tokyo Towers, Shibuya, Shinjuku, Ueno Park, Ginza, Tsukiji Palace, Imperial Palace, Harajuku, Mount Fuji, Roponggi, Shiba Park, Zojo-ji Temple, Kamakura, Nikko, Hakone, Yoyogi Park.

Queen Sunjeonghyo Palace, Bukchon, Hanok Village, LG Towers, Boromae Park, Hangang River, Namsan Mountain, Kumho Museum, National Palace, Myeongdong, Insadong, Yongsan, Hyundai Department Store, Samsung Plaza, Gwangjang Market.

It took me days browsing online, add to that reading Frommer’s Guide Book from start to finish. Only to receive the news that we won’t be pushing through with the Tokyo and Seoul leg of the trip. I must admit, I was mad and then saddened (everybody’s upset). If only my brother-in-law listened and did his homework. It’s not like, he was clueless about it. He knows what to do, and didn’t do it. He should have applied for that darn passport and entry visa when he had time on his side. As in, K-A-I-N-I-S. I was so looking forward to this trip, till somebody spoiled it for everyone…

A Learning Experience, Maybe

Anak, can we receive a visitor at your place? Mom asked, as I was driving back home from a job interview. I guess the beach house was too far for this guest to drive, so mother suggested meeting him at my house. Of course, I agreed. However, I told Mom that she’s in charge of dinner and preparations.

At about 7 PM, our guest arrived. He claimed to be our uncle, some distant relative of Mom from Cagayan de Oro. They were about the same age, grew up together as kids and went to MSU together. So, I guess they were close at one time.

While having dinner, our guest made a kind comment about our new home. He said, this is a nice place you have here. And in reply I said, thank you. And then our conversation brought us to my job and then losing our old house. He said to me, you work in the business and financial field and didn’t see it coming? In your line of work, don’t they have this thing called calculated risk? My eyes widened in surprise, I didn’t think it was appropriate for him to comment on my personal affairs. And did I mention, he’s a guest in our house. But I decided to keep my mouth shut, out of respect and hospitality.

How about you, what do you do for a living? Are you married, do you have kids? I asked him. He answered, I’ve been separated from my wife for about three years now and we have one child together. You can say, we were both busy building up our net worth and the next thing you know , our marriage fell apart. I apologized for asking, when he interrupted me and said, I was so engrossed in my job as a Marriage and Family Therapist.

Forgive me, but I ended up laughing and giggling inside when I heard him say this. I felt like saying, you work as a family therapist and didn’t see the separation coming? I wonder if he was able to apply  the techniques and theories he learned in school? I simply rest my case…