Ten Seconds

A quick hello and a kiss that last a lifetime. He is messing with my head again, and along with it – he’s also meddling with my feelings. What was that all about? I thought it was done and over with. I thought we’ll move on and continue to be friends.

But why did you kiss me? Couldn’t it have ended with just hello and then goodbye. Why the kiss on the lips, and not a peck on the cheek? Why were we both breathing heavily? As if you took the air out of my body,  then blew life back into me. Why Leon?

Now, you’ve lit the fire in me. And I can’t find it in my heart to kill that warmth, for it feels good. But I have to restrain myself. I couldn’t trust myself when I’m with you. I know, I couldn’t run away fast enough when I pull off that string of repression. I simply can’t!

That ten second kiss,  it was but a moment in time. But it  brought the dead into life…

To My Old Wise Man

It’s Fathers Day today, and unfortunately Dad had to bail out on us. He happens to have a private date, and we understand. But I’d like to say a few words to my old wise man. He may not be the most eloquent father, but I love him just that way. So here’s a shout out for my Paps!

Dad, thank you. Thanks for giving me a chance to live, and giving me the space to grow in my own terms. Thanks for loving me unconditionally. You may not say the words, but I feel it every minute of my life. Thanks for being my man of strength, for defending me againts all harms. For being my man of truth, making me accept the person that I am. For being my man of wisdom, letting me know to embrace my own uniqueness. For it is what makes me – ME.  And I may not say it often, but I do love you. It’s just that we have our own different ways of expressing it. Happy Fathers Day!

The Role Each People Play

My mentor once told me, that life is like a play. That each person has a role to portray in this broadway show called, LIFE. And it doesn’t matter if we got the lead role, a supporting character or an extra. A role is a role, and each character, no matter how grand or small, is important to get the story and message through. What does matter, is if we give it our best?

The Wisdom There Is In Life

I was at doctors office waiting for my name to be called for an appointment, when I saw a book on a side table that caught my attention. I opened it, started reading and made a huge discovery about myself…

That I should accept my own foolishness in my character. To accept that it was not my destiny to be the sort of person I would have liked to be. To try and see the people as themselves. To appreciate the distinctions between one shade of gray and the other. To beleive that if you like people, it is probable that they will like you. To trust people, partly because it is too much bother to go around full of distrust. To accept that being let down is among the normal course of life and that we only harm ourselves by being bitter. To beleive in our own experience, and dare to do what we beleive is our destiny. To rely on the experience of other people, but not on the wisdom of others, because it is useless. To live our own experience, because it is unique. That life is not a rehearsal, either we watch life passing right in front of us or try to experiece it fully. And finally, to rejoice, be happy and stop moaning!

Happy Holidays

Hustle and bustle and hurry and run
looking for gifts that bring so much fun.
A visit to Santa we also must make
because of our children for all of our sakes.

The food preparations must get underway
like cookies and candies for our special day.
Gifts must be wrapped and bows must be ties
and trees must be trimmed and lights hung outside.

Cards must be bought and then must be signed
And addresses and mailed to reach friends on time.
The kids must be bathed and tucked into bed,
where they will wait to hear Santa’s sled.

But when morning comes midst all the squeals,
faces depicting what our children feel;
it makes all the hustle and hurry and run
so very worthwhile for these little ones.

Now let’s remember the child in our lives
given to us when God’s son arrived
to teach is to love each other and then
to die on the cross to save us from sin.

Hope you all  had a great Christmas!

New Found Self

For some reason, I haven’t had the compulsion to write an entry for my blog. I don’t know why? I’m perfectly fine, I’m not depressed or anything. I guess, I’m just uninspired. Either that or I’m just plain, lazy. Hahaha! Like I said, I am doing alright and having the time of my life. I’m actually loving it, being unemployed at all. This maybe my much needed break, from my non-stop and hectic life. You see, for the past twelve years since I started working. I haven’t had a break ever, besides week ends and holidays. And do we really call that a recess? Considering, there’s chores and errands we had to do on such times.

And so, this is how freedoms feels like. I am nobody’s slave, and I am the master of my own fate. I absolutely love every minute of it! There’s a bit of a downside to it though, but I don’t care. I maybe poor, but I am happy. I am living within my own means, and it’s great. It’s refreshing to take a sudden crash course in Finance and Budgeting. Not to mention, application of theories I learned in business school. Hahaha!

Eventually, this vacation will come to an end. That’s how life goes! Once all resources are gone, people need to go back out there and start busting there behinds again. And I’m not afraid, for it’s a reality I have to face. No guts, no glory, right? But, I am grateful. For I’ve been able to experience such happiness. I don’t want to say that I’m all cerebral and smart, but I’ve found new wisdom from all of these:

That life, if we keep chasing it, will drive us to death. So we may as well let go, sit still and let contentment come to us…

A Blind Date

It was arranged by our friends, Cee Cee and Sullivan. Guess they took pity on me, for lack of social life. I initially said no, but I figured out that they were right. I’ve been neglecting myself lately, and I needed a break from all the pressures I’ve been experiencing. Besides, I remembered what Lola used to say — In life, sometimes, there maybe no more second chances. So, I called Cee Cee and agreed on this blind date.

I was five minutes early, as Mimi’s Cafe was not too far from where I live. I decided to sit by the bar, situated near the exit. I thought to myself, if the guy was not to my liking. I can be discreet and simply walked out the door without being noticed. Hahahah! Style noh, bastoosh? And right on the dot, a guy wearing a corduroy jacket, faded jeans and crisp white shirt that says, freedom lies in being bold, came in. He looked around and then stared at me.

” Are you Nell, by any chance? “  He said. I didn’t expect for him to spot me right away in the crowd. So I had a stuttery voice when I said, ” Yes, that would be me. “

After our introduction, a hand shake, and a big warm hug. We decided to grab a table away from the busy and noisy flock of people. We ordered our food, asked each other the customary blind date questions and had a good laugh. We discovered a lot about each other, things we have in common, favorite tv shows, books we’ve read, blogging, and did I mention, poetry. It’s not everday that I get to meet a fellow literary buff. He even wrote something for me on a piece of tissue. Ayayay! I’d have to give him a hefty amount of pogi points for that. Hahahah!

Two hours in the restaurant, we decided to call it a night. It was fun and exciting date, I’d have to admit that. He’s good looking, smart, enthralling, genial and polite. Qualities in a man worth dating again. But then I didn’t have the balls to asked him out. Ano ba, dalagang Filipina ako. Hahaha! Good thing he’s intrepid enough to asked, and I was quick to say yes. We gave each other a kiss on the cheek, another hug and he saw me drove away from the parking lot. Truly, he was a gentleman.

Now, I can’t wait till Saturday…

Smile At Me

Smile at me,
When my world feels grey,
That smile, on a sweet angelic face,
The one that chases my sorrows away.

Smile at me,
That smile that finds me in the crowd.
The one that lights up the room,
And makes the world not seem so loud.

Smile at me,
That smile, that dances upon your laughter.
The one that settles into one charming grin,
A smile, I’ll remember after.

Thank you, Nicho for giving Yaya a reason to smile…

Asking Myself…

Have you ever touched your dreams,
and felt the simplistic joy,
of feeling them become reality,
only to abandon them,
for reasons you cannot explain?

Litratong Pinoy #5: Malungkot

Ang litratong ito’y tinawag ko na Paglisan. Pagkat ito’y kuha noong panahon ng may isang tao na lumisan sa buhay ko…

Paglisan

Kung ang buhay ay isang umagang nakangiti
At ikaw ay ang lupang sinusuyo ng bituin
Di mo man silip ang langit
Di mo man silip ito’y nandirito pa rin
Kung ang lahat ay may katapusan
Itong paglalakbay ay makakarating din sa paroroonan
At sa iyong paglisan ang tanging pabaon ko
Ay pag-ibig…

At ito naman ang isa pang litrato na pimagatan kong Pag-iisa. Na syang nararamdaman sa tuwi tuwina.

Kung di pa naman kayo nalungkot nyan, eh ewan ko nalang…